Fenna/Statehelm

Fenna
Objectively beautiful
Region:	Statehelm
Town:	Statehelm
Location:	Central Fountain
Anatomy:	Human
Species:	Human
Beast Speak:	?
Speaks With:	?

“

I'm glad to see you at our little party! I hope you enjoy yourself.

— Fenna

Fenna is an avatar of the goddess Fenna.

Location

Statehelm

Found just west of the central fountain in the city.

Favor

Small Talk ^[view/edit]

Fenna/Small talk

Favor Rewards

Fenna rewards her friends with ?

Quests

Fenna does not offer individuals with [Neutral] favor quests.

Events

Winter Celebration

[Friends] Favor -	?
[Like Family] Favor -	?

Conversations

“

Hello! I'm glad you showed up! I've noticed how much you appreciate poetry, and I wanted to say thanks for that.

Um... you're welcome! I do like a good poem.

I wanted to share my most recent work with you. It's not quite ready for the public, I think -- maybe you can give me some feedback about it later. No pressure, though.

It's about my personal experience with the god of death. So I'm a bit too close to the subject matter to read it objectively.

It's an honor. Thank you.

(Pop-up window displays The Sun Sets on Sachetar).

— Fenna

“

Oh, did you have time to read my poem? I wanted to ask for your feedback. I'm still making revisions!

I'm sorry. Could you remind me of the poem?

I haven't read it quite yet, but I will soon!

I've read it! Sure, I can give feedback. Did you have questions?

Oh, good! I know you're an expert poetry critic so let me ask you a few questions. Please, I implore you, be honest!

This is a little embarrassing, but I want to know if the meaning behind the first part is clear.

I mean the part where the god of death tried to kill me, but he soon realized I was connected to so many places of beauty in the world that I couldn't be casually torn apart like that. Not without ripping apart the world too! Did that meaning come through?

If it doesn't read intuitively, I'm not sure that's even a bad thing. It might be better as a visceral feeling than a coherent message. But I'm curious!

Yes, I understood the general premise.

Okay, next question. The place names. I'll admit that in my first draft I didn't reference Povus -- I was thinking of the Averechi Mire. The Mire of Anxiety? But I know the Statehelm crowd wouldn't know much about that. And Povus is also a very nice swamp.

And very importantly, it has far fewer syllables in its name.

So I guess my question is: did referencing the local swamp feel like pandering? I feel like it did, but it fit so much better in the line! What's your opinion?

The reference to Povus did feel a little jarring.

The reference to Povus was fine. Don't overthink it.

The only problem is that there's no will-o-wisp spirits in Povus. Or hawks.

(Fenna smiles slyly).

I'm not sure about hawks, but as for will-o-wisps, you just haven't found the right spot!

But yeah, maybe it's confusing to reference that in the poem. Thanks for the feedback.

No problem.

Okay, last question. This one's a bit more fundamental to the poem: the perspective.

The poem starts right out with "I am a god," which really makes the poem about me specifically. Sometimes it's nice to express myself that way, to be seen! But I also really like to read poems that are more open-ended, poems that could be about the reader. I wonder if mortals feel the same way.

It would take some editing, but I could revise the poem so that it might be talking about a mortal. Would that make this particular poem better?

I think the poem would be less interesting without your unique perspective. Leave it.

Okay. That's all my questions! Thank you for helping me hone the poem. I really appriciate your honesty.

It'll take a lot more editing before I'm happy with this one. The ending is a bit banal. I'm still mulling the use of section breaks here. (Did you like the section breaks? Nevermind, it's a tiny detail and it doesn't matter). What I meant to ask was: please don't share this flawed draft too widely. Or I guess if you do, let them know that this is early in the process. Maybe it'd be good for people to know that even gods have to edit.

Well, I do, at least.

You're welcome. Goodbye for now.

I think making the poem more relatable would be a good thing overall. Try changing it.

Hmm, I didn't quite understand your intent.

— Fenna